Well here I am
I procrastinated over whether or not to start a blog as another form of self expression, here I am giving this a shot for the experience and seeing where it goes, I needed a place to express my views and beliefs on life and also to help express parts of my deep thinking pen to
opaper is good but sharing it with the world can make a difference in the smallest way so here I go embarking on this new project of self expression
#life #deepthinking #awareness #sharing
I’ve come to the realisation after a very recent experience that sometimes we don’t actually miss the person in the essence of what they bring or brought into our lives but much rather just their physical presence more than anything, just someone to fill the void of loneliness quite often as I’ve learned.
If we truly miss someone for what they brought to our Lives and not just their position in our lives its a lot harder to let them go because our heart becomes attached where as someone’s sheer physical presence can be easily replaced(sadly)
I had to ask myself did I really miss this person most recently and as much as it pains me I realised that I didn’t miss who they were but mainly just their physical and social company because it felt nice to have someone want my company for once without having to pursue.
And when I felt that relationship was broken so was the physical company factor which triggered an act of fear in me immediately as it would in anyone who’s been contending with their loneliness.
If you miss something or someone in your life dig deep and ask yourself why find the relationship between you and that in order to know the truth in why you miss them or it and yes it will take some time especially after the emotional dust settles but it’s worth it as it can take you to a whole new level of you.
I was attached to the ideal of how nice It was for someone to want my company without me having to seek, by having the person break it off with me, I felt the ideal slip away and dissapear as it has done so many times in my life.
So I became angry, upset, confused frustrated and annoyed at this person, because in my eyes they took this ideal away from me, I felt how dare they take that away from me.
People come and go in life all the time, being attached to an ideal as I’m coming to learn can be our biggest downfall in life and a selfish act to carry this ideal around seeking others to fulfill it.
As attachment to an ideal can leave us empty handed like the lonesome old fisherman going home with nothing, rather than the ideal of something in life, we must step back and observe the truth in all relationships we have in order to gain a greater understanding of the connection we have to each and every moment in life.
As everything passes us and the attachment is broken and so is our ideal, its an essential to understand, your relationship with each experience and emotion in life, to know what makes us Happy, angry, sad, grateful etc as the truth is never revealed in the Fishermen or the fish but much rather how their relationship came about to be at their points in each others lives.
The fishermen was hungry so he fished and the fish was hungry so he took the bait the truth lies there in the hunger to survive
I created this when my self worth took a hit after a few rough drafts and editing this is the final result I’ve started reading this to myself in the morning and at bedtime I’m sharing this in hope it could help and empower others going through similar struggles
I’m starting to realise this journey of growth can feel very lonely, especially when you embark on a path others dare not or fear.
I’ve come to realise more and more that the way I see the world is vastly different to that of most, not that this makes me better than anyone just identifies who I am in a unique manner like anyone else I encounter.
I have gifts to offer this world such as my articulate nature and most recently accessing my introspectiveness to work to my advantage in order to help others.
I’ve come to realise some paths break off after a while not every path is permanent not every experience is permanent, their just moments in time that too will pass and deviate like a sailor finding his way home at sea.
I have started to vision myself climbing a mountain and looking around me to find not a soul in sight like I’ve reached a new level, this movement upwards or forwards can seem lonely at time the cliff face of life will be truly testing as you climb higher and higher or walk farther and farther, people you once knew are no longer there for you to turn to.
You cannot fear the loneliness of your journey as every level you climb and every distance you walk, you will encounter those that support you on that particular point of it, just give and take on these experiences, hath no fear of loneliness as its just a passing feeling.
Reach back and find your why that got you started it will give you drive, comfort and warmth to continue the climb or the walk.
You cannot pour from an empty cup in order to give your must receive.
No one can define you but you, your skills and abilities are only as great as you define them, the world won’t always identify them but what matters is you can only you can make or break you.
Some days are great, some weeks are great, some days and weeks can bewilder one person.
Right now as the heading implies I’m suffering those feels after a big crash from the top of reality mountain, everything I have done in life I have given nothing but or less than a %110 in my efforts without ever seeking appraisal or appreciation but every now and then some wouldn’t go astray, I’ve never begged for anything nor will I start to in that sense, but when your like me once in a while you have to stop and ask yourself am I being appreciated for my efforts, are my skills, talents and abilities being recognised or put to good use, besides helping someone else achieve their dream.
It’s a sad world where the highly talented, creative and most imaginative are passed over or go unrecognized all because they don’t have a degree or PH.D.
I have become so confident in my strengths and abilities that I see my worth more and more in the work place and life, I have dreams many of them about how I could influence this world to make peoples lives better and easier, everyday I have these dreams and visions but today they’ve taken a hit.
Just wish someone would take a chance on me and give me the opportunity to show them what I’m capable of or I will just have to create my own opportunities and show those who slammed the door in my face or underestimated me missed out.