Choices, we make them everyday some vital, some simple and some purely nonsensical but none the less choices, sometimes these choices carry no burden, no consequences or even no benefit to our growth.
But these critical choices we make, emotional choices, driven by self worth, life an career values, financial circumstances or relationships.
This stems from a recent experience I had, person A and Me, met through an online dating app, we had been chatting, I got to learn her situation was a little bit more complex and that she was going through a healing phase of life after some shitty experiences and then followed by another one locally.
In my typical over thinking fashion one day I texted her asking “Am I annoying you” yes this was an over thinking Andrew moment and I explained why and I was open and honest.
We had a phone conversation about all this, to which I apologised took accountability for my actions admitted it was a result of over thinking from my end.
As the conversation went on I admitted I have issues to work through this was one of them, the conversation kept going about how I made her feel backed into a corner and she has taken on my burden.
I stopped and thought for a moment and said I didn’t ask you to carry my burdens I never asked you to back yourself into a corner, I felt as if she was deflecting her choices and actions onto me, I can understand how one would feel like that, but I swiftly replied with I never asked you to make those choices carry “my burdens” or “back yourself into a corner”
My burdens are mine as are my flaws and I have no expectation of anyone to Carry them whatsoever or anyone to heal me.
Please people don’t throw the consequences of your decisions and choices on someone else, you made a choice, you knew what choice you made it wasn’t the other person that made that choice for you, take some responsibility please, we’re not perfect but we can be mindful.