Our Growing Dependency with Facebook

In light of the recent issues faced by the Australian community and its Federal government surrounding the blocking of Australian media outlets content on Facebook I’ve noticed through scrolling on posts and feeds of how dependent we have become on avenues such as Facebook we have become for providing us with all our necessary day to day information for news urgent and non urgent, weather, sports, gossip and social interests just to name a few.

How we cling to our push notifications from various media sources on face book in order to keep up to date and maintain a degree of relevancy, its almost as if we’ve become excessively dependent on it like an over attached 3 year old to their mums tit milk, we’ve forgotten that there has always been other means of how we can obtain the news as such print media, radio broadcast media and even Search engines.

As our government fights with Facebook to lift these bans or come to an amicable solution the question poses through those actions are they feeding the Australian communities co-dependency with the social networking app which in effects has a monopoly on the social networking and communications market so to speak, its scary to think we are struggling to adapt as a society to this change, acting in anger, fear, concern or lashing out all because we can’t get our daily feed of news or voice our opinion on a media outlets post that makes us feel relevant and justified about our position in society.

Yes there is always a balance of pros an cons I believe social networking tools like Facebook can be a vital tool of communication for government agencies and media outlets to the general public where needed especially in times of crisis or community based calls to action where other channels of communication may not be as effective as social networking, the con is our ever growing dependency with Facebook to provide us with all the information we need so we shouldn’t have to hunt anywhere else and as a result we’ve become attached.

It’s concerning that we can’t get off of our back ends to either go down to the corner store, deli or grocery store and buy a newspaper or tune into the news radio broadcasts on the hour with radio stations or even search for the news using one of the many search engines there’s nothing different to reading that news vs the same news posted on Facebook except you can post your opinion and start a shit storm, in essence we have a great piece of technology in our hands but only know how to use it one way much like having a claw hammer and only knowing how to use the hammer head,

It’s a concerning future for us as Covid showed me in the last year we can be very single dimensioned beings that are maladaptive to change and situations and once again this situation has shone a light on those very same issues.

Learning new ways to express myself

Well here I am

I procrastinated over whether or not to start a blog as another form of self  expression, here I am giving this a shot for the experience and seeing where it goes, I needed a place to express my views and beliefs on life and also to help express parts of my deep thinking pen to

opaper is good but sharing it with the world can make a difference in the smallest way so here I go embarking on this new project of self expression 

#life #deepthinking #awareness #sharing

TIME WILL TELL

Time

We have 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, 3600 seconds in an hour and 8760 hours in a year.

In that time we will learn a lot about life and ourselves

Time Will Tell Us

What we’re made of, whether that new job is for us, if the person we’re dating is the one or it will test a friendship to tell you if it’s long-lasting or just a passerby.

Time will tell

Time is a learning tool in life’s classroom, it will teach us a lot about the people around us, who are we are, and what we are capable of, time will tell us if we are patient or impatient, and it will test us to our very core, time itself never speeds up or slows down it just maintains the same pace regardless of what we are doing or where we are going.

Time will tell

You have to give time some respect to an extent as it drives us every day and guides us in tough and good times, and we celebrate it when we arrive at a milestone, it dictates record books, fetes of accomplishment by humankind, through all this Time will tell us who we are, it will shape part of our character.

Time will tell

Time will never cease to exist it will outlast humankind and forever be a tool of education in the classroom of life.

Suicide: A Secret to the grave

When we lose someone to natural causes we don’t seek answers or ask why

When we lose someone to an accident or criminal act we don’t ask why of them we ask why of the criminal

When we lose someone to suicide we always ask why, we want answers, sometimes they may leave a note and a few may be privileged to see that note though it only provides insight and seldom any closure and we are often still left asking why.

It’s often a truth taken deep to the grave by the soul their last moments clutching to the sliver of light and hope before their demons get the best them and we’ve lost them, it hurts to know someone so dear to us has taken this path, we never think they would do it, we never think they would commit that act, we never really know what one is capable of until they’re in the position of having to take action or make a decision only then do we learn a bit more about them.

It’s easy to get angry at them, its easy to feel betrayed and hurt, they’re natural feelings when presented with death by suicide, its easy to say also suicide is a cowards way out, when in hindsight its a brave act and a tough decision given the calibre of mental and emotional energy one must output to stave off taking their own life or taking it.

We can’t beat ourselves up when we lose someone to suicide, the pain of loss is already wrenching enough that beating ourselves down even further is just tiresome and if anything adding more pain to the event than is needed, we have to learn to forgive ourselves and to an extent forgive them as they too were in pain.

We will never know why they committed suicide, most spend their waking hours staving it off just to put on a façade so they can be a part of functioning society on a daily basis, even the person next to you on the train could be in that exact position we just don’t know as once again its a secret taken to the grave, held deep down and seldom we are privileged to the truth beyond the surface.

If your reading this and have experienced the loss of someone close to you via suicide do not beat yourself up, do not hate yourself for not picking up the signs or checking in on them, you are just a human being start with forgiving yourself and releasing yourself from the shackles of self hate and harshness

Understand it’s not about you its about them and their pain.

Thank you for reading this.

Quality vs Quantity: The Subsurface of friendships

As I was listening to a chapter in my audiobook the narrator stumbled upon the subject of friendships/relationships and their common connection, it touched on the subject of friendships based around common interests or hobbies and friendships based on core deep seeded values such as loyalty, trust, commitment and honour.

It planted a seed in me that would spend a good week or so growing and as I discussed the topic of our dating experiences between my best mate K and I it dawned on me perhaps I was going about my dating life wrong in the sense of what I was seeking and wanting to base my connections on, for ages I and many others have sought connection on dating sites and in the real world through superficially common interests or hobbies, often those connections are never lasting and always fleeting always easily forged and easily broken.

Then we have those connections by which we don’t intently seek but find them and build them through sheer life experience based on core values and character of ones self, they are the bonds we form an keep and no matter how far apart both drift they always reconnect like it was yesterday.

Has technology caused us to lose our sense of deep seeded connection for the character building, soul depth connections? are we just easily seeking out superficial connections in quantity vs deeper seeded connections of quality and priceless value, I believe we have indeed, some may disagree and some may say this topic is very objective and only spoken from personal perspective…well they would be right, but you only have to look at the friendships around you, your dating profile or stop and reflect on your experiences then you might have that light bulb moment like me and realize maybe my life ain’t as deep, meaningful or intentional as what I thought.

It’s never too late to change or evolve.

Mental Health and Your Local Coffee Shop.

We all have one, some we walk to and some we drive too.

They can be the social cornerstone of a community big or small, its a place of congregation for people from all walks of life, Students to the Elderly and their weekly social catch ups, most of us will attend these locations Once a week usually sometimes even more depending on your desire for a coffee, latte or frappe(if available)

The food and beverage factor aside, in the last 12 months through a series of COVID related lockdowns I really learned the significance of that local coffee shop relating to our mental health as Human beings we are social beings, we are attracted to crowds, gatherings or connection through random conversations with strangers, as most of us around the world experienced lockdowns and isolation within our own abodes that element of social engagement was narrowed down, if you lived alone then it was through digital means if you lived with others then you had that outreach.

I saw my local coffee shop whom in my opinion is the heart of socializing within the little community I live, close down for 2 months amidst a COVID lockdown, the element of conversation over waiting for your hot beverage was taken away for myself and many others within our community, apart from being subjected to instant coffee, I was subjected to a degree of loneliness and social connection, my mental health didn’t wholly suffer at all but it challenged because if your a chatterbox like me and when given an opportunity you could talk the legs off of any table then it has its impacts.

None of us can deny that the importance of hubs like these within our community are vitally important for mental health and social engagement, it alleviates the loneliness and often helps us build rapports with people in our communities as well as for those struggling with social anxieties often gives them a place to feel comfortable with short exchanges of conversation eventually building into something more meaningful with every little conversation.

I can’t be grateful enough for the local coffee shops I have, both are always up for conversation, banter or throwing down a small food challenge for ones large appetite most importantly I’m grateful for those days where loneliness is there and I have a place to go to when open that I can have that conversation and alleviate the loneliness and feel like a part of society,

If your reading this and this sums you up to a tee be it coffee shop owner, barista or customer just remember your interactions can be enough to change someone’s day with them as we’re more than just servers and customers united we are a community and or society all living together and you never know your reaching out may have saved a life, made a day or changed a miserable perspective on life.

Coffee is the lifeblood of social interaction, forever sharing a coffee or few over conversations will or could change a life or drive an inspiring idea.

HAVE I LET SOCIAL MEDIA DEFINE ME AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

As I sat in deep discussion with an amazing good friend about my upcoming holiday to Singapore.

As my friend and I touched on the subject of my younger days, when I was in my mid 20’s and used to do spontaneous journeys on MY OWN with no fear of loneliness, I remember booking bus tickets to head south and see old friends for a few days and never came home with the blues or be depressed, a trip to the goldcoast I did once, by myself, I went, saw an conquered with no anxiety, depression or loneliness I just went.

I also lived with no fear of lonelinessor having no friends I lived fearlessly, depression was never present in my life nor was anxiety until recent years.

I reflected on the correlation of my time back then and the presence of social media in my life which was close to nil and to now where its infront of me every day and has been for the last 3-4 years.

It prompted the question, have I really let social media heavily influence me in all the wrong ways, have I let it define my position in life and not me define its position in my life or its priority.

This is an exciting time in my life as its prompted me to shift focus and look at where I’m headed.

What is a relationship anymore?

We have so many labels of negativity its hard to know where you stand.

Ones emotional availability is another’s definition of neediness and dependency, we don’t even know where we stand emotionally in this world anymore.

We’re constantly issuing out articles with warning signs like driving through a section of roadworks with a million traffic signs.

Looking for constant signs of narcissism, selfishness, toxicity and other behaviors all based on what? You just have to type in foundations of a toxic relationship on google and you come up with many other definitions of so called bad relationships

Toxic, poisonous & hazardous just to highlight some of the prominently sighted ones, it’s almost like we’ve written a Bible on the worst of life

Expectations or Entitlement

A starving inner child

Ever wondered why, you get mad when you dont get your way? Or get sad when your friends are too busy to hang out with you?

Its probably your inner child much like mine starving for connection that we’ve never had or felt, our emotional and social needs may have never been met or fulfilled as a child.

So we dont truly know what its like to have solid loving friendships or relationships, we’ve experienced so many goings in our life that our connection is like a damaged power lead constantly binded again and again everytime we break until we become so fragile that we just stop functioning and our wires once interconnected are all disconnected with no energy moving through.

We become so starved of all this that we become a desperate child trying to steal a loaf of bread just to eat, only to destroy ourselves in the process internally from gorging rather than slowly but surely savouring each bite, as we’ve never known what its like to develop a connection so anything that comes our way we eat it up and then wonder once again why we’re starving, hurting and depressed.

Yes connection can start from within but how do you make a connection when theres never been one it’s like installing lights in a house with no mains power, you can flick every switch but nothing ever powers up.

This has been me and anyone else who’s experiencing this or has I ask you be kind to your inner child, their hurting and angry.

You can’t just tell a chronic over thinker to stop over thinking

As easy as it seems telling an over thinker to stop over thinking just doesn’t work like that.

We can’t just always flick a switch and turn it off per say, theres a set of reasons and programming of the mind that has lead us to be over thinkers.

Some of us don’t like it so it can be a constant battle to break the cycle, thought patterns and stories in our head that have lead to us being the over thinkers we are, I for one am in this battle to break the patterns as its costed me potentially numerous good opportunities, tested friendships, potential relationships And myself the most.

As its not just the over thinking that happens, it triggers your anxiety and in my case depression can weigh in as well, one in extreme cases can often lash out, become agitated and irrational as I’ve personally experienced.

Im not saying over thinking excuses these behaviours but its some of the traits that come with it that not many understand and just assume that the person is angry, crazy, weird or whatever other label one can fit in and its by no means that persons fault either if they dont understand the behavioural traits of an over thinker.

We can change the tune of our behaviour it just takes time, like anything else, its never as easy as flicking a switch in the end, if it was we would all be able to do it.