Honestly feeling like I’ve lost my spice for life, I feel disconnected from the world, feel empty, lost and losing faith by the day.
I feel no where near present in today’s world, I feel nothing but sheer emptiness a broken WiFi signal or one lacking in strength and the further my head takes me away from the present the weaker that signal becomes.
It feels like nothing’s gone right, feels like no matter what I try, it never happens, I know everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder if I’m destined to just not have a single thing go right
Cue affirmations and quotes
“Sometimes not getting your way is a stroke of luck”
“Blessing in disguise”
“Everything happens for a reason”
And so on and so on and so on.
What if some of us are sheerly destined to not have friendships, to not have intimate relationships, to never feel love or to never have anything in our lives go right? (Insert pessimism)
I kinda just feel like wtf is going on right now, I feel like just leaving town and becoming a nomad(but you have responsibilities), I wish to go back to that place a year ago where I was sheerly connected the signal was strong and I was ever present and nothing seemed like it was going wrong and if it did, I was able to alter my perspective in order to change my situation.
Now I’m playing the victim, angry, dismayed and whatever other words you associated with that, people tell me I should see a councillor, I tell then I don’t trust a professional that reads from a book and probably a book I could most likely find on the internet sadly, yes I’m being pessimistic etc but at what point does the bubble burst, I want a different approach to fix this not the same old approach people keep telling me and no its not a secret message from the universe.
It’s more like people go to the first thing they know and that’s a medical professional, I want to take a different course of action to reconnect and heal, once again becoming present and mindful with life.