to care or not to care

This is a question I’ve been posing to myself lately after some recent events took place, I reflected back on a place in my life where I was care free zero care factor yes I hurt some innocent people emotionally I acted egotistically and selfishly,then something happened, I felt compelled to apologize for my mistakes and move forward then all of a sudden I started having this care factor grow on me slowly over 18 months to where I am now, questioning it asking myself why when I never cared it  never hurt now I have this care factor i feel if anything it hurts more, I struggle to let go,frustrations,questioning friendships as such and realizing more so I have insecurities when it comes to friendships, sometimes it feels easier and necessary to keep people at arms length rather than let them get close to save myself going crazy with overthinking,underplaying and  all those other thoughts that drive you around the emotional bend at the end of the day I’m torn between trying to care but  not care at the same time if that makes sense.

peace love and light



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