Being friends with ourselves
After my marriage split almost 4 years ago I was faced with a whole new world,felt like I was at my first day of school again minus a classroom ad the world and making friendships was the lesson, I spent 6 months post separation keeping to myself going to work,gym and keeping to myself it was only until I started exploring the world outside of this that the lessons started coming, I started off with dating the first experience had its good and bad this started a rolling ball effect which lasted close to 2 and a half years, in and out of relationships,dating and even using the opposite sex for my own self gratification and nothing else,I kept doing this up until around October last year
I was watching a video on Facebook and the speaker started to go on about connecting with yourself outside of social media I listened to the end, spent the next couple of days thinking maybe I need to reconnect with me instead of chasing people was it me that I had neglected because I was chasing endless relationships friendships that lead to emptiness, I then realised I was fearing one thing a lot of us fear and that’s loneliness being alone in general for the rest of our lives is scary if you try to look at the future rather than the present.
So I embarked upon a journey of self connection each morning sitting on my couch with a cup of tea and my thoughts I asked myself some tough questions, realising I had to do this for myself everything had to be done for myself regardless of the friendships along the way won or lost, it was vital to find me again the person that had been lost for so long, once I started telling myself do it for you over and over again the more my belief system changed and I found myself doing the things that sparked a light in me I indulged in my training at the gym,learning about spirituality,politics, religion and whatever else caught my curiosity my outlook on life slowly changed I gained a voice of my own inside, but like with anything comes the ups and downs and the downs were the struggle some days good some days bad but the fight in me said to keep going I was doing a lot of reading on personality traits natural ways to handle my depression and anxiety, to most recently listening to Buddhist teachings on letting go and dealing with change, this proved to be another learning curve in this new found journey a lot of the Buddhist teachings to life are relateable to everyone on a daily basis, we just have to open our minds and change our thinking you may not realise it but you probably practising something derived from Buddhist teachings and you don’t even know it,
So it’s now been 6 months or close to it since I embarked on this journey big lessons learned and some great realisations about my unhealthy habits, just remember nothing or no one is perfect never be to hard on yourself on any journey and be kind to you as your heart is what this world needs.
Peace Love light