An insecurity

Today hasn’t been the best day internally, I had a part of me I surpressed believing I had dealt with it surface today.

Its caused me some major mental, emotional and logical imbalance, I’ve been in a three way tug o war with my heart head and gut, this is what happens when you don’t face things head on they eventually come around to bite you in the arse and it has I will say.

Today

  • A part of me has wanted to crycry
  • A part of me has wanted to act out in anger
  • A part of me just wanted to escape the world (yep you heard it)
  • A part of me is hoping this would end quick it I just ride it out.

I still have a lot of healing to do so it seems and every experience brings something new to the surface that I have suppressed.

I had a fear of this insecurity taking over and controlling my way of thinking, I feared if I accepted it thats what would happen, I’ve spoken with the person that my insecurities are directed towards as a part of acknowledging it’s presence, this for me is a second part of the acknowledgement sharing with the world.

The answers won’t all come to me at once I know and as a friend put it, this won’t heal quickly as you would wish and I can’t fight it or ignore it as now it is present.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s