Catching feelings

I honestly didn’t know how painful it would feel to have someone not feel the same way towards you as you would them.

I’ve often told people not to take it personal or to heart but in all  honesty, after just walking in their shoes I know how much it hurts, I haven’t felt this in a long time.

The frustration, confusion, sadness, anger where you just want to tell them f**k off and never speak to you again, I’m experiencing all that and more including the feeling of foolishness.

I can’t be angry at them or expect them to feel the same way towards me but I did  and I guess I read into things too much, my feelings aren’t theirs and neither do they have control over them.

As I calmly sit at my work desk, a thousand feelings swirl around inside.

Have I now ruined a good friendship?

Have I made a fool out of myself?

Will the friendship ever be the same?

I locked away my emotions and feelings as a way of protecting myself from pain as I’ve been through it all before and I thought just this once I was feeling something I would act on it, I’ve gone from level 10 happiness to level 2 happiness.

The positive is I did this, the downside is the aftermath of how I’m feeling right now and to be honest its quite numb as I still process it all.

I honestly commend anyone brave enough to act on their feelings and still keep going after rejection

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