As I sit here on my bedroom floor post meditation and reflect I have started to realise that I have feared opening my heart to just one person, from fear of it being hurt and broken where as I have no issues with opening my heart to a whole bunch of strangers in the streets or real life.
Why is this as I realised that when I open, My heart to complete groups of strangers that I don’t fear being rejected or broken hearted as they haven’t been given access to that very core of me and because of this I carry no fear.
Of all the women I’ve dated not one has successfully gotten me to open my heart to them, even my closest female friend tried in the early days and failed, it doesnt mean there’s something wrong with me, it just means there hasn’t been that soul I’ve encountered that I feel safe enough with to open my heart and let It be vulnerable.
After all I’ve brought to the surface and been left feeling vulnerable this is by far the biggest eye opener, the positive from this I can take is to work on a path towards letting go and acceptance.
To allow yourself to be vulnerable in such a way and open your heart to feel pain and grow is by far the biggest challenge life will give us and only time will tell how I proceed on this journey