Someone told me the other day its an excuse that’s in the way of my happiness.
In part that may be true, not going to disagree here, but as I lay here at 130am with a head fogged like a winters morning, to me it’s a reality it’s one of the biggest demons I have battled daily.
Every now and then something comes good and I’m fine I feel like I can tackle the world, then a simple act as coming home from work like a tonne of other people do, can trigger that demon and then I’m back to square one, battling this demon, entering into a depressive, frustrated and sometimes angry questionable state of mind.
What is loneliness to me, its like being that puppy dog in the window of a pet store, waiting to be bought, you get all excited when someone shows interest in you, wagging your tail and pouncing around the pen, that’s me when someone new comes into my life I get all excited because their showing interest in me so I wag my proverbial tail in excitement until I realise their just passing by to admire the view and leave.
Loneliness is living a life in anticipation of the next time you won’t be lonely, it’s a demon to me I fight more regularly than most, this is by no means knocking any current friendships I have but in a way it is as I also crave a particular type of company one with in depth and deep side to it and not just the awkward silences or same old idle chatter.
I could go on for hours about this but this is what it is too me, my blogs and vblogs ooze loneliness