It all starts with us, our attitude, our perspective, our courage don’t expect the world to give you everything when you’ve invested nothing in yourself, stop demanding of the world to take you as you are when you wouldn’t take yourself that way, if you aren’t willing to invest in yourself then your going to live and die a poor person.
I feel we live in a society conditioned by knowledge and facts and whenever we are in trouble we turn straight to facts and knowledge to comfort us or we are so comfortable we simply chose to suppress the moment, experience or feeling rather than address it.
The truth is like that uncomfortable bed that we toss and turn in and then seek comfort on a couch or some other bed because we don’t know how to play the cards we’ve been dealt and make it work for us.
We fight against the truth with knowledge and ignorance because ignorance gives us the “its not my problem” or “just let it go and move on” mentality or in the case of knowledge we read a book absorb the information and think it can fix the problem.
To fix a problem, to grow, you must find the truth behind why one does what they do or why you behave that why and what feeling it brings to you and the connection, its like fixing faulty electrical wiring in a house, you can either just ignore it and wire around it with new cables and the problem still exists or you can find the faulty wiring remove it and replace it with a new connection.
Once you find the truth you can work to fix the brains wiring replace it with a new connection unlike the wiring in a house the wiring of the mind takes time and it may mean you will constantly have to pull wiring out time and time again as some methods may not work and some connections may be faulty because deep down triggers or faulty connections lay dormant from years of neglect and suppression.
To find this wiring to make this connection you need to find the right tools, patience, understanding and the will to grow along with the understanding that shit will get uncomfortable, you will be your own worst critic at times but this will keep you accountable along with daily and consistent practice.
I’ve come to the realisation after a very recent experience that sometimes we don’t actually miss the person in the essence of what they bring or brought into our lives but much rather just their physical presence more than anything, just someone to fill the void of loneliness quite often as I’ve learned.
If we truly miss someone for what they brought to our Lives and not just their position in our lives its a lot harder to let them go because our heart becomes attached where as someone’s sheer physical presence can be easily replaced(sadly)
I had to ask myself did I really miss this person most recently and as much as it pains me I realised that I didn’t miss who they were but mainly just their physical and social company because it felt nice to have someone want my company for once without having to pursue.
And when I felt that relationship was broken so was the physical company factor which triggered an act of fear in me immediately as it would in anyone who’s been contending with their loneliness.
If you miss something or someone in your life dig deep and ask yourself why find the relationship between you and that in order to know the truth in why you miss them or it and yes it will take some time especially after the emotional dust settles but it’s worth it as it can take you to a whole new level of you.
I was attached to the ideal of how nice It was for someone to want my company without me having to seek, by having the person break it off with me, I felt the ideal slip away and dissapear as it has done so many times in my life.
So I became angry, upset, confused frustrated and annoyed at this person, because in my eyes they took this ideal away from me, I felt how dare they take that away from me.
People come and go in life all the time, being attached to an ideal as I’m coming to learn can be our biggest downfall in life and a selfish act to carry this ideal around seeking others to fulfill it.
As attachment to an ideal can leave us empty handed like the lonesome old fisherman going home with nothing, rather than the ideal of something in life, we must step back and observe the truth in all relationships we have in order to gain a greater understanding of the connection we have to each and every moment in life.
As everything passes us and the attachment is broken and so is our ideal, its an essential to understand, your relationship with each experience and emotion in life, to know what makes us Happy, angry, sad, grateful etc as the truth is never revealed in the Fishermen or the fish but much rather how their relationship came about to be at their points in each others lives.
The fishermen was hungry so he fished and the fish was hungry so he took the bait the truth lies there in the hunger to survive
I created this when my self worth took a hit after a few rough drafts and editing this is the final result I’ve started reading this to myself in the morning and at bedtime I’m sharing this in hope it could help and empower others going through similar struggles
I’m starting to realise this journey of growth can feel very lonely, especially when you embark on a path others dare not or fear.
I’ve come to realise more and more that the way I see the world is vastly different to that of most, not that this makes me better than anyone just identifies who I am in a unique manner like anyone else I encounter.
I have gifts to offer this world such as my articulate nature and most recently accessing my introspectiveness to work to my advantage in order to help others.
I’ve come to realise some paths break off after a while not every path is permanent not every experience is permanent, their just moments in time that too will pass and deviate like a sailor finding his way home at sea.
I have started to vision myself climbing a mountain and looking around me to find not a soul in sight like I’ve reached a new level, this movement upwards or forwards can seem lonely at time the cliff face of life will be truly testing as you climb higher and higher or walk farther and farther, people you once knew are no longer there for you to turn to.
You cannot fear the loneliness of your journey as every level you climb and every distance you walk, you will encounter those that support you on that particular point of it, just give and take on these experiences, hath no fear of loneliness as its just a passing feeling.
Reach back and find your why that got you started it will give you drive, comfort and warmth to continue the climb or the walk.
You cannot pour from an empty cup in order to give your must receive.