How often do you get down, emotional, anxious, depressed and so on?
You often try to force your way out of the situation with distraction or similar?
I think anyone with a mental health issue has often tried to do that forcing ourselves to be happy or calm when we were are anxious ridden or depressed.
Its fine for our mental health to visit us especially the dark sides of it as without dark we have no light.
MAKING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH A BEST FRIEND
Ask yourself when a best friend visits do you force them out the door or walk away from them? Ignore them? Probably not as your a social being, so you greet them in whatever way you do and spend time with them giving them all your attention for the time your with them?
Why not try that with your mental health issues when they arise, like if your anxiety arises give it a name be it male or female or something that makes you laugh, spend time with it, hang out with it give it attention it deserves much like your human best friend and then part ways with it until another day.
We have to treat our mental health with love and compassion the more we neglect it the more it arises.
After a stripping back of layer and the bubbling of the surface and the feelings experienced and expressed this morning.
I’m now feeling vulnerable, exposed, naked like I’ve been stripped down to nothing.
This nakedness feeling has got me feeling frustrated and fearful, I have put myself on the stage of life’s theatre, standing their bare naked and cold.
I have experienced this before, my ability to trust the process and the journey but my senses are heightened I feel on the back foot with the people around me.
What does it feel like stripping back another layer or uncovering a suppressed issue and having to face it?
IT FEELS, EXHAUSTING, TIRESOME, RELIEVING, SPEECHLESS AND PRETTY CONFUSING.
If anything it can rival a hangover, but minus the shitty physical feeling and dehydration that goes along with it.
WHY AM I GOING OR PUTTING MYSELF THROUGH THIS?
Because I want to break free like the proverbial caterpillar and its cocoon, breaking each layer down to evolve and grow into what natures intended for me and that’s my most beautiful natural form.
AM I SCARED EVERYTIME I’M FACED WITH THIS?
HELL YES!! but I’m getting better at working through each experience, as I have gained some valuable life tools/skills in the form of
- Self love
- Self compassion
- Self belief and most recently
- Self forgiveness
These tools cannot be Mastered much like the carpenter and his chisel, its only as good as the person using it, noone is better than the tools and skills life gives us its our way of thinking and how we can put them to good use that makes us the best version of us.
Lesson learned from my most recent experience and that is learn to forgive yourself as not everyone is willing to forgive you.
As I processed emotions tonight and that feeling of loneliness and the needs behind it I uncovered something else about me and my past.
And it revolves around the topic of sex.
Its a human desire and need who would disagree with that.
Though when we put our need ahead of another’s feelings and emotions it can damage a person it can be especially selfish, I for one for a while was a very promiscuous man post marriage separation in and out of dating and relationships.
This went on for sometime I was indeed get my sexual fulfillment from it until I hit a bump in the road, my promiscuous behavior hurt two people and caused me to re think my behavior as this is a person that had been hurt before and I essentially contributed to it.
I have slowly grown out of this behavior and have become more mindful of it.
But I Still have that one need that we all crave and thats sex, I don’t want to do friends with benefits as its never been something I’ve managed to do without getting feelings in the way, I want sex but not just with anyone, I will honestly say I crave it a lot.
Even to a point where watching porn makes me feel a tad guilty, like I’m letting myself down if anything I’m more so judging myself thinking what would others think of me and I feel by even having a one nighter I worry about hurting that other person.
I have now realised that I have never really healed or forgiven myself, for this behaviour of the past instead I’ve let it control me, I’ve never taken ownership of it and now it’s here saying hello I have no choice.
If anything this experience tonight has killed my sex drive for the night lol.
Why because it takes more courage to say what we truly feel from the heart than it does to speak with our emotions or pre thought out logic.
Often when you speak from the heart the words flow because you feel and know the words you are speaking come directly from the heart so theres no need to to analyze or plan what to say.
When we speak with emotions we often have our words misconstrued or we are often trying to force something out thats not there much like “the sunlight trying to force its way through the clouds after a storm instead it waits for the clouds to pass to shine again”
Words from the heart are always powerful, they can empower a person, shock a person and challenge their thinking but Its the most courageous act one can do.
I spoke from the heart tonight
Going back a couple of years ago I met a woman, she was going through a fragile stage, but we kept dating, she managed to find her way into my heart and I dont know how and in a very short time, we parted ways a few months into it as she was entering a rough phase of her life, when we parted ways I never realised the impact she had on my heart, it was massive in a good way, I always have held her close to my heart and never felt any anger towards her.
Tonight I spoke from the heart and told her the place she has cemented in it and how I feel, I wasn’t doing this with hope or expectation of sparking something between us again but because I wanted to speak from my heart for once and exercise courage and I did.
You will know when to speak from the heart as the words flow and the feeling afterwards is peace.
How do we cultivate self love?, where does it come from? And how do I give love and receive love?
Here’s an an analogy I came up with that might help.
A tree can’t give shade until it has grown enough to spread out branches and has grown a strong trunk to support those branches, much like love you can’t give it or recieve until you’ve done the very first two things
- Implemented Self love (planting the seed)
- Practice self love (water the tree) and remember these
- Your experiences in life are the seasons a tree must endure to grow
- The constant practice is the watering of a tree to grow
- Your belief system is the trunk of the tree
- The connections you formed within are the branches of a tree
- The love you give is the shade a tree provides.
As it all starts from somewhere and those two small steps are where it all begins then comes the growth, the cultivation through constant practice of self love every day, doesn’t have to be in great quantity just a few minutes a day for example I have my shower before bed and will stand under the hot water telling myself “I LOVE YOU ANDREW YOUR A BEAUTIFUL SOUL” I will repeat it a few times.
Find a method that works for you some may find my approach does some may find other ways, its all about the journey and finding what works for you to cultivate this love from within.
A tree’s shade is provided without condition to us all, as should your love once you’ve cultivated it so much from within you will give it without question without doubt to anyone you cross paths with.
What is the norm anymore?
Apparently we have defined normal where apparently everyone lives the same, thinks the same and should feel the same.
And when we aren’t falling within that “normal” social conditioning or structure then instantly there is something “wrong” with us, there is nothing wrong with you, your just evolving in your own way past that standard social conditioning which only allows us to see YES OR NO and RIGHT OR WRONG.
Most of us
- spent 10-12 years in a schooling/education system
- learning from text books
- doing tests t justify our physical intelligence quota
- learning right and wrong rather than reading between the lines
- being taught conformity rather than freedom
All of this helps but also it doesn’t it locks away parts of our mind,
- Our free thinking
- our creativity
- Our logic to life
- Our soul
So we are conditioned to believe and see life in only the way a system has shown us, when we go against that and unlock our dormant parts of the mind, building new neural pathways and connections which allow us to see the world and life in its true form only then are we really thinking, acting and seeing, being mindful, being compassionate, being our true soul.
I’m not against a system of education I am for learning and growth, but what I do believe is the system needs to evolve to meet the thinking of today and not yesterday as change is inevitable and so our education systems need to adapt.