Leaderless Leader

How can one be expected in today’s modern work place to follow the chain of command when the second link is already broken modern day management = less productivity and more busy and they wonder why good workers leave, it’s because their seeking growth and they can’t do it in a stagnant swamp its like expecting a water based plant to thrive in the desert.

Most chains of commands are weak at the second link, gives ground level leaders little to no confidence in the process, so they eventually lose motivation and stop doing their job above and beyond or they jump a few links in the chain and go to the highest one possible just to get their attention.

Only to be told to make sure he follows the chain of  command, the irony of the weakest link in the chain telling someone below them to follow the chain of  command, staff need empowerment and if you lack a culture of empowerment from the top, much like a cascading fall it makes its way to the bottom.

That’s where the culture stays and is passed on through successor to successor, when will business open their eyes up and see that culture change starts at the very top, if you set a culture of more busy and less productive once again its going down the chain as well.

As I’ve learned its difficult to empower and support a team when your receiving little to no empowerment from above, it drains you some days but you know if you give up, your not leading by example ultimately and it will set the tone for work standards and mood, a great leader gets hands on no matter what, during chaos they  pick up and keep moving with their team in tow, its tough being a leader in today’s modern business culture I think, most will give up and go somewhere else which us understandable and some of us are suckers for pain we find a way to make it work.

Sometimes we have to be that leaderless leader in today’s jungle be it life or work.


Followers, Like and Friends lists

As I do a cull of my Facebook friends list and also scrolling through my inbox, I asked myself this question, how the hell did I end up with 300+ people on my friends list but if I scroll through my inbox probably less than half maybe even less than 10% of that 300+ actually have communicated with me in some way and off the top of my head maybe 5% of that I talk to intermittently and another 1.5% I talk to regularly and the rest just seem to follow suit with the whole mutual friends must add this person protocol.

We’ve become an empty disconnected society, where we add people but never talk to them and were all culprits including myself, no wonder friendships have become expendable when you have 4 times the amount of friends on your Facebook friends list than you do in real life you can easily replace a broken friendship at the click of a button.

Social media has turned us into dopamine addicts in effect, we find ourselves depressed and lonely so we put a post up or send out a few messages and we get some engagement which in turn gives a dopamine spike and sense of happiness and enjoyment until once again it wears off then we repeat the cycle.

How many people do you keep in contact with out of the amount on your friends list? How many of them do you actually interact with on a regular to intermittent basis? Why do you have so many people on your friends list but so little engagement? 

Be like the ocean be vast and varying in every way way possible

 Going to share with you  i recently learned about life and am growing into each day, I complained about not having deep connections but it was myself lacking the actual depth not life or the people.

Being multi dimensional in life is very important to building connections in life and strengthening them as well take a swimming pool for example its a static environment with the same depth and width everyday so imagine living in that same static environment same depth same width gets pretty boring huh? 

Now look at the ocean and its vastness with multitudes of depths, varying waves, creatures and degrees of temperature, if we lived life free flowing and as vast as the ocean imagine how much more fun and successful life would be for us? Just think about it the next time you complain about how bored you are with life.

When You Finally Negotiate That Curve

Life has thrown at me one curve this week a very bending, twisted curve that’s proven difficult to negotiate at the risk of celebrating a tad early I just had to share this hoping it could help someone in a similar predicament.

For the past couple of weeks life put a curve in the road in front of me imagine a hairpin like turn that gets you every time and you spin out of control over and over and over, well that’s been the curve for me I’ve been trying to negotiate.

I chose a path some months ago, that I wanted more out of life, I wanted to make an impact on this world in the future, I want to change and innovate my field of work I am currently in so the industry can thrive and work smarter and so I know I never wasted one experience, failure or ounce of knowledge passed onto me and furthermore I also want to impact and innovate people’s lives from a personal growth perspective, I chose these paths knowing that there would be challenges and all the Eric Thomas, T.D Jakes, Les Brown and Tony Robbins talks I have listened to one would make sense and help me navigate this curve.

So the last couple of weeks I have been feeling utterly disconnected from life and also a tiny bit insecure, I seemed at some point to have lost track and guidance on my journey and started to allow not just the voices of others but also the actions of others to influence my mental state, I started feeling envious of people with strong friendships, which is something I had worked hard to grow through a year or so ago(that was some damn hard work right there) I felt my actions lacked purpose and intent as well as losing sight of my journey.

I knew that friendships would be lost as I embarked on this journey and new connections would be made in good time through my works, what I didn’t know is what it feel like to be in no mans land without a connection as old ones broke and new ones awaited me somewhere, this is the curve that I have been working to negotiate, hence the envy of others friendships and interactions and me questioning where the hell is mine?

Mine are there waiting I just need to keep putting in the work and growing through it as its very very very early days for me on this journey and like most great journeys they all started with one belief, idea and a step forward to forge that path and no one ever said it was going to be crowded and no one ever said it was going to be lonely either.

To those of you much like me in the early stages of a life changing journey,  you will have many distractions test you much like mine, the best advice I can give you is to talk about it with someone and listen to your words as I did tonight and if you can’t confide in someone get your notepad out and write thoughts out over and over and over every time that feeling arises until something clicks, as that’s what happened to me tonight and I had the click.

Just don’t give up

Eric Thomas – Don’t Let The Distractions Distract You


As I sat there in the sun shirtless at my local swimming pool I couldn’t help but feel a tad a conscious about my body, it’s been on my mind quite a lot lately even catch myself in the bathroom mirror eyeing my body up and down, side to side and back to front and having that insecure moment asking myself am I good enough in the physical sense.

As I hit my mid 30’s I feel this physical insecurity grow ever so more, I have gleaming moments of body confidence as I know I’ve put in hard work for the body I currently have but as I look around and hear of female friends getting dates, I start to ask myself is there something I’m not doing right to attract the attention? besides being my deep thinking, deep conversant with a hint of sporadic humor am I not putting out to the universe in   accordance with the Laws Of Attraction?

In a day and age of convenience technology with dating, it’s easy to develop that degree of insecurity or body consciousness especially as we get older and the crowd seems younger and dating   seems more of a challenge, especially for us males, quite often these dating sites give one the power to swipe or ignore based on the images we see and not the story we ready and yes it’s not one’s obligation to respond or engage with everyone they encounter on dating site.


As I hear from my female friends they seem to have to fight guys with a stick on these dating sites and literally may have a pick of the crop(not always the best pick) but they seem to get more of engagement from the opposite sex on these sites/apps, is it because us males are more insecure or even desperate than our female counterparts? Are we projecting our Insecurity through these apps as men so we over compensate to some degree because we are either insecure about our physical appearance so we do more in the who we are department  to mask that insecurity to some degree or do we send dick pics and inappropriate messages as we are insecure of who we are as a person and our confidence in having a regular conversation perhaps?

Do females not project their insecurities as loud as men in the physical body conscious sense? as I know females carry a lot of emotional and mental insecurities that they have the habit of projecting  but rarely do they project their physical insecurities with the opposite sex out of some fear perhaps?

On a closing note I would like to say if you have made it this far to the article thank you for reading  I pose the question is it truly harder for a mid 30’s and upwards male to make connections in the dating world than it is for our female counterparts?


Anticipation The Key To Controlling our Reactions?

What If we could anticipate another human beings behavior and control our reactions to it, knowing that if they react that way, we could provide the best response for us in order to remain calm, empathetic and understanding to both their situations and ours?

I was recently watching a Tony Robbins video when he brought up the topic of Anticipation and how it can be the key to both having a successful business and life as well, if we could anticipate our reactions to another persons say typical behavior we could work to improve our reactions.

Let’s take a quick look at the definition for  Anticipation

    • Definition of anticipation

      1a a prior action that takes into account or forestalls a later action 

      • hired more security guards in anticipation of a large crowd
      b the act of looking forward;


Some of the most typical behaviors in today’s world from my perspective are but not limited to Criticism and Judgement, they seem to stand out in today’s age of digital communication but still we even including myself don’t anticipate this as a key human behavior and we still end up responding to these actions in a very negative way.

Judgement and Criticism can be taken very personal by some of us especially if we are highly insecure and vulnerable people, criticism and usually come from those whom have a misunderstanding of you and rather than question you they turn to the most common reaction and that’s judgement and Criticism or sometimes but usually both at the same time.

In my spare time this morning I decided to put together a list of what I  deem things I would most anticipate out of humans I encounter then I thought about how I can control my reactions to them and put a method to the madness so to speak.

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO CRITICIZE YOU Question their Criticism ask them why they feel that way towards you or approach to life act in an empathetic manner, also know that some who criticise you will not know you personally so don’t take it too heart.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO USE YOU Accept it’s a reflection of who they are and not you, don’t compromise yourself also act with a degree of empathy as you don’t know their story.
PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU If possible question their judgement of you to find out why they feel that way and if not accept it’s a reflection of them and not you be empathetic in both approaches as they may not understand you as you don’t them
PEOPLE WILL FEEL THREATENED BY YOU Don’t take it personal, know they have their reasons and it’s  pointless in getting upset at them.
YOU WILL FEEL LONELY AT TIMES Accept what is and just enjoy the time to yourself don’t try to force yourself into being pointlessly busy if so what something that’s fulfilling to pass the time
YOU WILL FAIL Accept its apart of the journey, learn from your failures and embrace them rather than neglect them.
YOU WILL FEEL FRUSTATED AT TIMES Find a way to vent them, confide in a close friend over your frustrations, don’t clutch onto them as they will boil over.

©Copyright Andrew Geoffrey Pickering 23/01/2018

This is just an excerpt of the full list I came up with during my session, the actual list is 2 pages long and more in depth, I’ m hoping I can take something from this and improve my personal growth in some way shape or form, hence I shared it with the world in hope it may help just one person.

The Empty Fort Strategy

Stumbled across this article regarding reverse psychology a very insightful read with a back story of facts to match it.

Gareth Roberts

Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. And there’s a legitimate reason why.

Tell somebody to do something, and they won’t want to do it.

Tell them not to do it, and they’ll want to.

Sound familiar?

If you’re sensitive in nature, do not read the rest of this post.

(Seriously, don’t.)

In 195, Shandong, Eastern China, military general Lü Bu was gathering his armies.

He amassed 10,000 soldiers to attack opposition warlord, Cao Cao.

With the imminent attack unknown to him, Cao Cao sent his own soldiers to collect grain.

So he had less than 1,000 men with him in his fort.

Against the impending 10,000 soldiers that were to descend on the fort, he was far from well defended.

When Lü Bu showed up at the empty fort, Cao Cao had to react.

Desperately, Cao Cao sent all civilians to defend the fort. He even…

View original post 550 more words