Cultivating self love

How do we cultivate self love?, where does it come from? And how do I give love and receive love?

Here’s an an analogy I came up with that might help.

A tree can’t give shade until it has grown enough to spread out branches and has grown a strong trunk to support those branches, much like love you can’t give it or recieve until you’ve  done the very first two things 

  • Implemented Self love (planting the seed)
  •  Practice self love (water the tree)  and remember these
  • Your experiences in life are the seasons a tree must endure to grow
  • The constant practice is the watering of a tree to grow
  • Your belief system is the trunk of the tree
  • The connections you formed within are the branches of a tree
  • The love you give is the shade a tree provides.

As it all starts from somewhere and those two small steps are where it all begins then comes the growth, the cultivation through constant practice of self love every day, doesn’t have to be in great quantity just a few minutes a day for example I have my shower before bed and will stand under the hot water telling myself “I LOVE YOU ANDREW YOUR A BEAUTIFUL SOUL” I will repeat it a few times.

Find a method that works for you some may find my approach does some may find other ways, its all about the journey and finding what works for you to cultivate this love from within.

A tree’s shade is provided without condition to us all, as should your love once you’ve cultivated it so much from within you will give it without question without doubt to anyone you cross paths with.

Don’t surrenderĀ 

I see it often and have done it myself because of a bad experience, we’ve either been.

  • Betrayed
  • Dumped
  • Used
  • Heart broken etc

And what happens when we experience this is it can instantly turn our way of thinking/belief system into a negative state and you quite often hear or say these remarks.

  • That will be the last time I help someone , I’m never going to care again or
  • I’m never going to love again
  • Everyone’s the same 
  • I’m not allowing anyone to get close to me etc

I can tell you right now from what life has recently taught me, that when you stop caring or loving or trusting because of one or a few bad experiences you are

  • Surrendering your power to the people that did wrong
  • Your giving power to those that did you wrong
  • Not doing anything to help you 
  • Suppressing the feelings
  • Passing blame to someone else for something you have entire ownership over 

Because everything you have is within you and you have ownership  of everything inside you, noone can be to blame for you losing that or stopping that  

Because you have

  • Love in you
  • Trust in you
  • Compassion 
  • Forgiveness
  • Happiness
  • Kindness

Noone can take these or prevent you from always using them, you just have to exercise forgiveness for your sake and not theirs rather than blame blame blame them for you not wanting to be a caring, loving or kind person anymore.

What is your happiness worth??

Is it measured in dollars and cents

Is it measured in social media followers?

Is it measured in how you make others happy?

Is it measured by the way you see the world?

Is it measured by how many pairs of shoes or hats you own?

Your happiness is truly measured by whatever  means that makes you happy with loving kindness and compassion.

We seem to be caught up in social media frenzies often doing what we think makes us happy because we see how happy it makes someone else, just remember the only reflection to live through is yours.

I believe peer pressure and succumbing to it can play a big part of  it even being a people pleaser or approval addict too  has us living a false sense of happiness as we feel if we make work to keep the other person happy that it will aid in our happiness, it’s all on your intentions at the end of the day.

  1. we can make people happy with the intent of wanting to impact lives positively which gives us fulfilment OR 
  2. We can go out of our way to simply please them make them happy as to avoid confrontation or because your to afraid to not upset them so their happiness = your happiness essentially

just remember this your happiness is measured

  1. BY YOU
  2. FOR YOU

Don’t fear being the rainbow on a grey day or the loud amongst the quiet or the individual amongst the pack  

Show no fear and create your own measure of happiness