So after a year since my last visit to the psychologist I decided to book in to check in with him and share my journey to date
Dr John perera and myself
So 2 years ago I was diagnosed with low range depression and reactive anxiety as part of the diagnosis and treatment I was put on a mental health plan which a part of that includes visits to a psychologist.
My first few visits he analysed me as one does discussed my history as they do in order to find a root cause and help with treatment, alot of my anxiety derived from a number of contributing factors
- Loss of confidence
- Low self esteem
- Over thinking
- Bullying from my past school years
The list could go on but those are what I believe contributed to my anxiety.
It was a bit of a roller coaster during the treatment as I didnt take it all that seriously to be honest I took the meds and didnt really practice the mindfulness and breathing as to be honest I didnt really know what mindfulness was about or what it did and even at one stage because I thought I was good I went cold turkey off my medication *insert facepalm* well.done Andrew lol
Under some harsh advice of a couple of friends I went back on them. This time things were different, the journey was different my eye were opened a little more.
So we come to.today and after telling my story and journey the psychologist did praise me on the eye contact factor when conversating with him as that was where I majorly lacked along with the compliment of My articulate nature.
I never went in with today to seek feedback or approval just to conversate and pay thanks to him
Mental health for today’s male can be a tough issue to speak out about especially if your going through it yourself, I did the one thing that probably empowered me to start my journey and that was speak out about it don’t fear your anxiety, depression, PTSD or whatever it is you have talk about it embrace it as the more you fight it and try running from.it the more tired your going to get.
Peace love and light
Ever just sat in a park and just listened and observed? Or just sat on your front porch or in today’s world just scrolled through social media news feeds reading articles and comments without actually contributing?
It’s amazing I’ve learned that when you start to quieten yourself and just observe, the more the world actually teaches you, whilst debating is a great source of learning so is utter silence to listen and absorb is a great educator.
It can teach you:
- Mindfulness of others
- Add value to your happiness
- Being present
- Seeing truth
I have always been a big practitioner of people watching but truly didn’t realize the power of it until I silenced my mind and my mouth and just watched.
I now know when its best to contribute and when its best to pass over and keep going through life be it my own personal affairs or social media.
Peace love light
I’ve been in a struggle with my egotistical side it keeps cropping up at unexpected times in the most unexpected places.
It has constantly cropped up at the gym more so than any other place, I will be honest I am dealing with issues of inadequacy, insecurity and envy some days worse some days good and apart of those is my ego especially in a place like the gym.
I used to be able to just workout without worrying about what everyone else is doing around and just stay focused on my goals, but as of late I’ve either lost that ability or feel theres a need to prove myself for some unknown reason.
I keep telling myself
- Focus on your journey
- Focus on your goals
- Focus on you
Try to forget there is anyone else around you, it can prove to be difficult to do that being the friendly person I am lol.
My egotistical side has been the hardest part of me to shake off it has only came around in the last 3 years since I lost the weight and it has hung around since.
I acknowledge it but not sure how I can confront it in order to live life peacefully.
Peace love light
You know the only reflection that matters is that of your own
Not anyone else’s just your own beautiful reflection
There is nothing wrong with you nothing at all so stop trying to live a life in the reflection of someone Else’s
The only words that matter are the ones you speak to yourself
The only feelings that matter are the ones you feel towards yourself
The only judgement that matters is how you judge yourself
It all belongs to you the kindness the beauty the purity the soul you own all of this and more
You are more valuable than you could ever ever imagine so start loving embracing and believing in your own reflection as you were born with it and will leave the earth with it as well.
Live it embrace it love it value it
Peace love light
As I scroll through the news feeds on Instagram and Facebook I peer into articles and posts just to see the comments and human behavior, it’s become a day and age where we must feel compelled to react or respond to something posted or even defend ourselves from judgment or criticism both in real life and social networking.
Why do we do this? Do we
- Not know our own value or have self belief enough to know who and what we are that we have to engage in arguments or long posts or
- do we feel a safe haven behind a screen in which to defend our actions or justify ones self whilst we remain an insecure person
We engage in arguments not debates over social media we respond with emotional irrationality I’ve done it myself then read back on it and thought what the hell was I thinking, it can come across as nonsensical jibberish to honest with no real fabric to it.
I can tell you though that you are no obligated to justify yourself or actions to anyone but your loved ones whom do deserve the up most honesty from yourself even if they don’t understand why you did it thats okay its you that truly understands why or what.
Here’s some advice
- Be honest with yourself
- Become mindful and aware
- Ask yourself does it add value to my happiness or the process and remember
- Know your value as their only words after all
You do not need to waste unnecessary energy on things that do not add value to your present happiness or situation
PEACE LOVE LIGHT
We often absorb the negativity in our life to some extent and can let it consume us in a negative fashion rather than a more driven positive one.
I’ve been reading a book recently where a quote made in it really hit me outta left field
Do not let yourself be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good
It’s sooo easy to focus on the worst of a situation or the ugliness of one rather than the light thats dimly glowing upon it, the one thing I’ve learned is to look for the the little increments of positive within every situation for example
Bad day at the gym and two ways to view it
- It was crap I didn’t get what I wanted to get done I failed at everything or
- Nothing went the way I wanted but I still gave it my best
Its easy to be consumed by negatives in every situation because a lot of our reactions are based on one of two things
- Emotionally clouded thought processes meaning our emotions ultimately do the thinking for us losing sight of the logical aspect
- The mindful and awareness thought process which allows us to see those incremental positives in situations
Most of our reactions I believe can be linked back to these two systems of thought process, as I’ve learned since becoming more aware and mindful that every or most aspects to our lives have logical and realistic component to them and clouded emotional thinking is the more irrational of the two.
By no means am I saying don’t exercise emotions I’m saying be more mindful of them the physical ones not the mental ones if you cry you cry you laugh you laugh accept them but don’t absorb them to control your thought processes.
Peace love and light
Add value is a terminology I’ve come across in both the business sector and now life as well, one saying one purpose two different fields of life below are two definitions I found one on a business site the other on Cambridge dictionary site
added valuenoun [ U ]
UK /ˌæd.ɪd ˈvæl.juː/ US /ˌæd.ɪd ˈvæl.juː/
an improvement or addition to something that makes it worthmore:
The printer’s added value makes it worth the extra cost.
Added value = the difference between the price of the finished product/service and the cost of the inputs involved in making it
So added value is the increase in value that a business creates by undertaking the production process.
- In very simple terms it means we are appreciating the value in something through imoroving the process It took to produce it.
When you talk about adding value to your life what comes to mind?
Happiness? Money? Job? Holiday?
Do we often asses the value add of life when we make these decisions or do we just make them because its what we desire?
The way know if it adds value to our happiness is to truly become aware and mindful only then can we ask ourselves the question does this add value to my life or happiness?
We can’t be afraid to ask ourselves this question as it may set us free from attachment to materialistic prosperity empty relationships we hold onto in fear or even a job that we only stay in because we fear our own abilities.
We have the key to our own happiness We can only depreciate or appreciate the value of our happiness, don’t fear happiness don’t be afraid of loneliness and know that your limitless and boundless in what you can achieve in this world.
Add some value to your life its essential and deserved but remember you must ask this question first otherwise you will never know true happiness.
Peace love light